Rechelle, I am sorry.

Touched by a blog post, I have written a response to the author.

Rechelle,

1. As a believing Christian, I am sorry. I am sorry that I haven’t stood my ground on issues. I too have felt it was time for Christians to renounce hate and embrace love, love for all people. Jesus died for all, not exclusively for the ones who dress up and attend church every Sunday so they can feel elite and chosen. His unbelievable sacrifice was an act of love. To rebuke people is not my place and I am sorry if I have every taken place in such condemnation. I am sorry that I have been afraid to stop the madness that surrounds me. I am sorry that I have been fearful to speak up against such hurtful acts. I now see that my silence was in fact a passive participation, which renders me as guilt as those who stand on the street corners yelling defiling messages of hate.

2. I am sorry if I have ever thought someone is going to hell. I am sorry I have not taken the chance to learn about world religions and other point of views. I am sorry for every Christian that continues to refuse to engage the world around them. I am sorry that my brethren deem it necessary to fight against culture rather than focusing on their own sin. I am sorry that I (we) try to remove the speck from your eye rather than taking care of the 2x4 crammed in our own.

3. I am sorry that we ever mixed politics and religion. I am sorry that we try to use power to force feed our beliefs on others. I am sorry that I ignore Christian who continue to do this. I am sorry that I have not yelled this message out. I am sorry for the crusades, slavery, and any other intolerance justified in the name of Christ. There is no justification for hatred; there is no validation for loathing; there is no rationalization for prejudice!

4. I apologize for allowing money to be spent on fancy projectors, gold plated communion dishes, and other lavish accessories while the poor and needy roam the streets. I am sorry for demanding heat in a huge building so I will be comfortable while people struggle to buy food for their children. I am sorry that I am a member at a church that maintains a building that remains locked and unused most of the time.

5. I am sorry for placing people on pedestals. Mankind is flawed. Humans sin. I am sorry to belong to a group that does not practice what they preach. I am sorry that we do not allow people to fall. I am sorry that there is no forgiveness. There is no excuse to not allow people to overcome their own misgivings. I am sorry that we tear people down like savage wolves rather than lifting them up.

6. I too am sorry for becoming insensitive to the world. I am sorry I look the other way when I see a homeless man. I am sorry that I ignore the hurting of my fellow mankind. I am sorry that I assumed God would right “injustice, or crime, or pain, or hunger, or illness, or ignorance, or war, or greed, or tyranny, or slavery or abuse, or addiction, or pollution, or natural disasters” through my tax deductible contribution. I should have considered that He would use me as his instrument instead. I am sorry that have built walls and fences fortified by alarm systems around my life. I am sorry that I have allowed the devil to trick me into thinking that Christianity was safe. It isn’t safe. It never was meant to be safe.

7. Most of all, I apologize to you, Rechelle. I apologize for not standing by your side earlier. I am sorry that I refused to start a revolution, but waited for someone like you to say the first word. I am sorry that you are no longer a Christian because you can’t see religion ever lining up with your beliefs. I am sorry that the word Christian has become synonymous with hate. I am sorry that we have lost our way. We are called to be compassionate, loving people and somehow, somewhere we lost that mission. That breaks my heart and for that I am truly sorry.

I don’t know what to do to make it right again. And I am sure that I will now find my way in the center of Christian hatred. There will be those who call me names and debate my holiness. But, like Martin Luther so long ago, God has been pulling on my heart for a while now and it is time for me to stand up. So as my heart races and I fear what the fall out will be, the only thing I can say is “Here I stand; I can do no other. God help me. Amen!”